Hotel management provided multiple opportunities including building and opening new properties and mastering the day to day business operations.  As the months turned to years, Nichols (can you use Amber instead of Nichols?) dreamed of bigger pursuits and returned to college to earn an associate’s degree in Criminal Justice.  However, while doing so she landed a position that allowed her more flexibility and time to devote to school. Little did she or anyone else know that would change the course of her career.  As the Store Manager of family owned Austin Window Fashions, Inc. in Austin, Texas, Nichols dedicated herself to the family owners as a loyal and reliable employee.  When owner Thomas Thom called one of her references from her hotel days prior to hiring her he was told “Do you need someone to run your company?  Because that is what she can do.”  And that is what she did.  During the first several years with AWF, she was also committing herself and her life to fitness and wellness. Her 20’s led her down a path of an unhealthy lifestyle and after having her daughter, Nichols fell into the reality of her health situation and made drastic fitness and nutrition changes. She lost over 100 pounds and even competed in a physique competition where, at 37, gave women in their late teens and early 20’s a run for their money. 



 Now, 20 years later, Nichols is a proud partner and President of Austin Window Fashions, Inc. where she feels immense responsibility for the 50 employees that rely on her every day.  She is a real-life example of working your way to the top through hard work, persistence, and loyalty.  When I questioned Nichols about how she balances the pressure of managing 50 people and maintaining her healthy lifestyle, she offered two rules in which she applies to both her professional and work life. First, she always sets aside one hour a day for exercise or selfcare.  She says, “when I commit to that hour, stress and worry fade to the background. It is almost like it thaws me out.”  Secondly, one of her rules of leadership that she also applies to everyday life is, when feasible, always wait 24 hours to respond or react to something emotionally charged. Nichols lives by the principle that reactivity can often cause more problems where time and distance will allow you to have a more educated and informed response and/or decision.

Author, Kandice Swarthout, RDH, LPC 

 Historically, the fire department has not been equipped to handle Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) among first responders.  Until recently, there has been very little support for firefighters struggling with such haunting memories.  Bortzfield knows this all too well and used to live these memories in silence.  Slowly, but surely, fire departments across the country are beginning to recognize the serious issue of secondary trauma and PTSD first responders live with every day. Some are even stricken with substance abuse and/or suicide due to lack of coping skills and support. 

 Bortzfield spent a time in his career not realizing some of the symptoms he was experiencing were from secondary traumatic stress. He began to notice that his tolerance for trivial things started to diminish after being deployed to Hurricane Gustav in 2008. He says, “Here we are transporting people out of their homes that are terrified they are coming back to nothing. We walked with people through a terrible situation for days. When we could take a break, we slept on a gym floor. After we were released, 7 hours down the road, I hear a lady complain about her food at the restaurant where we stopped. It was like her life was ruined over it.”  In that moment he began to see how the stressors of the job affect his daily life and his view of the world. 

 In the midst of noticing his decreased tolerance, Bortzfield knew that other factors like sleepless nights and being exposed to dangerous situations were potentially affecting his personal life.  Our first responders cannot change the world around them, so they have to make choices for personal wellness. The building will still catch on fire and the fatality accident will still happen. He says that you have to “Handle it as it comes because if you don’t there are repercussions down the road. You never know when it is going to bleed out.” He must make a choice to adjust this own mental and physical attitudes in order to cope in a high-stress environment and many first responders have not been taught these coping skills.  Bortzfield finds that engaging in physical activities like lifting weights, playing softball, and hunting help him deal through the tragedies of the ones he supports.  Engaging in meaningful discussion about an incident soon after it occurs, helps him process the events and organize the traumatic situation in his head. It remains that most first responders will only communicate these details with colleagues which can create stressful home situations. Partners that do not understand the impact of post-traumatic or secondary stress may be left feeling disconnected and confused.  It takes hard work and compassionate understanding for all involved to survive the hardships that being a first responder brings to relationships. 

Author, Kandice Swarthout, RDH, LPC 

 Watson, known as Coach T to the kids he mentors, was a child when the climate of Hamilton Park took a turn.  He remembers his mom taking him to an adjacent neighborhood for football with hopes that the influence of a different neighborhood would keep him out of trouble.  Watson says that he appreciates his mom’s efforts and made lifelong friends while playing Pop Warner League football.  With a heart of gratitude, he also wishes his mom had seen it differently as he does today. What if instead of looking on the “other side of the fence” so to speak, she saw the potential for a better life in her own neighborhood. Watson views Hamilton Park as a place where young people can be raised to be proud of where they come from and pass that pride to future generations. 

 Watson says that when he took over the Hamilton Park Bobcats athletics program 9 years ago, “we were like the Bad News Bears.” He was not in pursuit of a successful sports team. He was not trying to convince kids they could make it in the NFL or NBA. He wanted to create a community that uplifts youth, focuses on work ethic, and gives them a place to belong. He says, “You’ve got to give these kids something to be proud of.” He fondly reminisces about the men that influenced him as a kid. This includes his legendary youth coaches, Steve Hammonds and Edward Stiger, and Young Life Leader Todd Beller. These men strongly influenced the person he is today and gave him purpose and vision as a strong male figure. 

 In 2015 Hamilton Park neighborhood basketball court was chained up due to homeless people taking it over at night. Needles left on the court became a hazard for the children and it was locked up. For some of the children, it was their only refuge for play and community. Watson teamed up with fellow Hamilton Park residents, including NBA champion Terrel Harris to be an active voice with city Counselman Adam McGough. Because of their efforts, a new rec center for Hamilton Park is currently under construction. 

 The Hamilton Park Bobcats program not only provides a place for kids to come together for mentorship and fellowship, but also opens doors to life-changing opportunities.  This year, Watson will take middle school kids to Trinity University in San Antonio to give them a glimpse of college life. His life-long friend, Jeremy Boyce, is the athletic director of Trinity and joining forces to with Watson in hopes to motivate the children to take high school seriously. Watson hopes these memories will be leave a lasting impression and drive the students to want college opportunities. 

 Recently, three Hamilton Park middle school students were accepted into Jesuit College Preparatory School of Dallas. This is unprecedented and Watson is proud that these young men are paving the way for the future. He tells them, “YOU ARE TRENDSETTERS!” The young students are breaking barriers and setting the stage for the future of Hamilton Park. 



 The Hamilton Park Bobcats operate from donations made by community members and other supporters.  Watson and his staff put their own money into the program. If you can donate any amount to this organization, 100% of it will be put to good use for the future of young men and women.  Please donate at: 

https://www.gofundme.com/f/6yaybg8?utm_source=customer&utm_medium=copy_link-tip&utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet

Author, Kandice Swarthout, RDH, LPC 

Sean was a “normal” kid, as his mom describes him. He was bright and played hard. He was not a troubled teen and did things that teenaged boys do like sneak out, drink, and maybe even smoke pot occasionally. The OxyContin Sean accepted from his friend had such an impact on his brain and he was quickly able to replenish his supply to satisfy the newfound cravings. This was an open door to a series of events that led to stealing and lying. Sharon would notice that he was “off” in that he seemed one step behind in his thought processes and always had an excuse for his behavior. In 2010, Sharon confronted Sean and he came clean about his drug use. As a concerned parent, Sharon sought out a rehabilitation facility and promptly admitted her willing son. 

Rehab tends to lead addicts deeper into their compulsion. This happens when one discovers new ways to use or hide use. They glean seemingly brilliant ideas that will assist in their efforts to remain secretive in addiction from members of their recovery group. 

Tragically, while in rehab, Sean discovered that OxyContin is a synthetic heroin that satiates the same receptor sites. Instead of emerging from rehab sober, Sean reentered the world as a heroin addict. 

Sean’s disfunction became so impactful on the family that Sharon had to make the decision no parent ever wants to face. She forbade him from her home and sent him on his way to figure out life. She says, “This goes against every instinct as a parent. If I kick him out, will he be homeless? Will he die? Will he go to prison? If I let him stay, will he get his act together?” She did not wish to continue to live as an enabler and Sean went on his way. He found himself in Georgia where he landed back in rehab. Sharon says that it saved his life at the time. He was able to get clean and maintain a healthy relationship with a girlfriend. 

Sean’s dad discovered that as long as he kept him close, Sean could maintain his sobriety. Sean went on to get a bachelor’s degree and became a very involved member of Narcotics Anonymous (NA). On a sunny afternoon, Sean went on one of many NA outings. On a rafting trip with the friends that supported each other’s sobriety through authenticity and accountability, Sean tore his ankle and required surgery. Despite his disclosure to the surgeon that he was an opioid addict, Sean left the hospital with a prescription of opioids that, once again, turned his life upside down. 

Sharon was still hopeful because she respected Sean’s girlfriend and gleamed hope that she could encourage him back to NA. Unfortunately, quite the opposite occurred. His girlfriend also became addicted. Her father, a physician, became their supplier and the spiral continued. 

Then it happened, the moment Sharon had prayed for. Sean called and asked for help. “Mom, I want to get this under control. I am serious. Can you help me?” Of course, she could! Elated and relieved she invited him to move into her home immediately. Sean gratefully accepted his mother’s loving invitation and asked for one more night to spend with his girlfriend to say his goodbyes before setting his intentions towards sobriety once again. 

At 4:00 the next morning, September 21, 2015, the ultimate fear of every parent occurred. Sharon was woken by authorities pounding on her front door. They were there to tell her Sean was dead. He had overdosed. She was so close to getting her son back. Just hours away from parenting her adult son back to the path he was seeking. Within hours, family and friends assembled at her home to offer support and sympathy. Just as Sharon thought things could not get more tragic, her mother collapsed in the kitchen and died.  Crumbled in grief and sorrow, Sharon gathered every ounce of energy to write two eulogies and plan two funerals. In those moments she felt determined to persevere through her grief and decided she would “not drop into the abyss.” She had a second son that was in dental school and a dental practice full of employees that needed her. 

One day after Sean’s death, one of his best friends came to her door with a message. He held in his hand a piece of a healing rock from a native tribe. The friend looked at Sharon and said, “The tribe elders believe that when a child dies before a parent, the child lives in the parent’s heart. The parent is responsible for the two of them.” He left the rock as a reminder of Sharon’s mission. This was the beginning of Sharon’s fight against the opioid crisis.

Sharon, 63-years-old and now the president of the Ohio Dental Association, shares being one of the few women in dentistry early in her career. She recalls a conversation with Sean as he told her that she needed to be the president of the association to carry the torch for all of the women that came before and after. So, she set out on that path. The journey was not an easy one, but one that brought her directly fight the cause against opioid addiction. 

            While Secretary of the Ohio Dental Association and at a board retreat (and the only woman in attendance), Sharon overheard a colleague say, “Why the hell are we spending all of this money? Let the addicts kill themselves.” Nearly paralyzed in heartache, she made her way to the lady’s room where she broke down and decided it was best to quit the board. After prayer and rest, she decided not to quit. She pressed on and carried her son with her just as the native elder had said.

A series of events and opportunities to speak out against the over-prescribing of opioids led Sharon to a meeting in Washington, D.C. where new laws about opioids were discussed. She sat in shock listening to dentists from all over the country speak up to say that they “don’t like mandates! We cannot be told what to do!” In a whirlwind of disbelief and on the verge of rage, Sharon approached a microphone in front of 1200 colleagues from across the country. Colleagues that were flying flags for the status quo of opioid over-prescribing. With every ounce of courage and fueled by anger, she marched up to the mic and told Sean’s story. The room fell silent as her voice shook. She tried to hold back the tears, but they forged to the surface. She finished, turned and walked towards her seat while the room remained hushed. As she sat, the audience stirred and exploded into a standing ovation. That act of courage was a key influencer in passing a new bill to regulate the prescription of opioids. Sharon playfully says, “I was so pissed. I essentially eloquently gave 1200 people the finger and it worked!” 

In that moment, Sharon knew she was on the right path in her quest to fight opioid abuse. She has collaborated with Dr. Dave Kimberly, an oral surgeon that was self-admittedly formerly lackadaisical in his opioid prescription writing. This power team has presented for various dental organizations in Ohio and Sharon has been featured on CBS Sunday Morning. Before stepping onto the stage or going live for a presentation, Sharon pauses and talks to Sean. She says, “Please let me say what people need to hear.” Inevitably, words she did not plan rise and leave her mouth as if Sean were speaking through her. 

Author, Kandice Swarthout, RDH, LPC 

Cratered emotionally and mentally

Pam, now formally educated on the processes of grief, describes it as a “dark hole.” She says that she remembers being “cratered emotionally, mentally, and angry at God.” 

The “wave” of six losses in 1984 put her into a 4-year depression that felt impossible to escape. After the death of her second husband, she attended a grief help group and became curious about what it would take to start her own group. Pam’s research led her to a group in Amarillo led by a hospice Chaplain. The Chaplain graciously allowed her to audit his current group so that she may see if it was what she had been seeking. By the end of the 6-week course, Pam was sure that this was, indeed, the type of course she wanted to facilitate. On the last day of the course, the Chaplain told her, “Pam, go for it! You have so much to offer.” 



 As she continued to seek the desired curriculum for her program, she found GriefShare®. GriefShare® is an international, faith-based organization that provides resources and refuge in the way of support groups for people in grief.  Just as she gathered her resources and prepared to begin the first group, she was stricken with a new 18-month wave of loss that began with the death of her brother, Danny. In fresh grief, she was not sure if she could continue because she wanted to be emotionally available for the people in the group. 

As she coolly asked around the office about this handsome new distraction, everyone spoke of his kindness and integrity. Alex was a man loved by everyone. Time passed and Kelli thought of him often and could not unchain herself from the relentless pull of attraction. They were friendly, but Kelli kept her distance as she was in a relationship. Sometime after ending the relationship, she decided she was ready to get to know Alex better. She found out that Alex was helping raise his niece after his brother-in-law passed away from cancer. Kelli found this honorable and incredibly sexy and kept herself available for the chance to connect. 

 Showing up looking her absolute best, she let fate play out by getting to know him casually through work-related events. She recalls a story where after she presented at a company meeting, Alex leaned over to a coworker and said, “that is my wife.” From that instant, it was an office goal to couple these two flirty friends. 

Living in different states, Kelli and Alex made a long-distance relationship flourish. Kelli says that it is difficult to put into words, but her feelings for Alex were unique. This type of healthy relationship was something she had not experienced before. Simply breathing the same air as he brought her joy. Being in his presence felt like home and she was certain this was not a feeling she wanted to lose. 

Without hesitation, Kelli packed her belongings and moved to Houston to be near Alex as he started the excruciating journey of cancer treatment. As they took these steps together, the relationship deepened, and they planned a wedding. 

 In the midst of wedding planning bliss and cancer treatments, Alex went through a very experimental 8-hour surgery. Two and a half hours into the surgery, the doctor emerged for the operating room to report the tragic news that Alex’s cancer was so devastating that the surgery was halted. Alex would be sent home to spend his final months with friends and family. 

 Given the option of one more round of chemo, Alex took it. Two weeks prior to the start of the chemotherapy, they chose to preserve his sperm so that Kelli would have the opportunity to have a child. The fertility doctor was not hopeful that any of Alex’s sperm would be viable after such traumatic medical experiences. They optimistically did it anyway and Alex began the chemo.

a flourishing life

This September will be the 6-year anniversary of Alex’s death. Kelli now lives what she calls a “flourishing life” with her 4-year-old son, Alex. You see, the fertility doctor was wrong and of all of the sperm and eggs used in the IVF treatment, only one “perfect” embryo survived. The path has not been easy. Kelli talks about a two-year period when her friends picked her up off the floor where she often found herself drenched in grief. 

The Alexander de la Torre Project

Kelli found her way from the depths of sorrow through therapy, friend/family support, yoga, gratitude, and the belief that she will “directly experience him again.” She now honors him through keeping him very much alive in her home and through a non-profit called The Alexander de la Torre Project. The non-profit provides free yoga, meditation, and breathwork for oncology patients and their caregivers. Kelli is also a certified yoga instructor and works in private practice directly with oncology patients and caregivers to assist in their healing. Kelli’s courses and projects can be found at www.kellidelatorre.com. 



 Kelli’s life missions are to cultivate human to human connections and provide her son with a healthy perspective of death. She walks this earth each day knowing that her “twin flame” walks beside her. 

 I asked Kelli the question I ask of all my storytellers: Do you believe in the old saying that you have to love yourself before you can love others. Kelli says, “Yes, that is very yogi. What you do to one thing is what you do to all things. You must have a true love for yourself to give it out.”

Author, Kandice Swarthout, RDH, LPC 

Juliette Marhofer Dugger, CPLC is a Certified Professional Life Coach that challenges women to live out the life God intended through the deep and uncomfortable work of clearing the spiderwebs from childhood wounds.  She challenges and explores the unnecessary and damaging agreements we make with ourselves that leave us standing in the quicksand of shame.  The kind of shame we carry through life that paralyzes and holds us back from peace and joy. Make no mistake, Juliette is no sugar coater. She pushes her clients to dig into the deepest and darkest corners of their souls to pull up unresolved “infections” that need healing through truth-telling and personal responsibility. 

Juliette has a personal story of abuse beyond the experiences with her father that is coming to life in the pages of a book she is writing.  For the purposes of this post, her wish is to shed light on topics that may encourage someone to take back their power and stand in freedom from personal binding chains.  Juliette possesses the gift of human connection. As I spoke to her, I felt as if I were the only person on the planet. She has a special way of holding the space that feels sacred and protected. I hope the rest of this story inspires you the same way it inspired me. 

Juliette challenges every person to set aside journaling time and dig deep into one powerful and life-changing question.  She said, “Ask yourself the question: what is my earliest, most painful childhood memory?”  She goes on to say that this question is the pathway to revealing the wound that we open over and over. It exposes the toxic infection that causes us to give away our power.  It exposes the reasons we repeatedly vilify others in order to find peace with our own behavior and reactions, but the war is within ourselves. If this question remains unchecked, it spreads the infection. The truth and healing lie in the answer.  The first boundary is with us. That boundary stems from the unresolved answers to this hallowed question and is strategic to restorative soul care. 

Once you expose the answers, boundaries will start to appear. They will begin to become clearer.  The wounds will show you where physical and emotional boundaries need to be put into place.  Sometimes those boundaries look like loving some people at a distance, remembering that your personal work belongs only to you.  The only people that will balk at your new boundaries are the people that did not have any in the first place. 

Juliette warns that this work and journaling exercise will not be a walk in the park. She recommends preparing the space to write with things of comfort such as a candle, a soft blanket, or soothing music. The space in which one answers this difficult question should be well thought out and not done in haste or as an afterthought. It may even be a good idea to have a trusted friend on standby in case the emotions that arise call for immediate support.  She suggests giving yourself grace and the permission to feel the pain that will emerge.  She says, “This is about you. Sit in it.”